Remind Me
by Willara4ever
Summary: During "New Moon Rising", Tara walked away from Willow, feeling as though Willow would choose Oz over her. She returned home to her father, thinking it was the only place to go. Years later, they meet again, and this time its different. Tara has lost her memory after a bad beating that resulted in her being in a coma for 6 months. Now she's struggling to find her place. An AU Story
1. Prologue: The Letter

**Prologue: The Letter**

Willow Rosenberg walked through the halls of the dorm building on her way to Tara's room. She needed to talk to Tara to figure out what she was feeling. She didn't want to hurt Tara nor Oz, but she knew the choice was inevitable. Willow closed her eyes as she took a deep breath before knocking on the door. She waited a few seconds for Tara to open the door, but when no response came, she knocked again.

"She's not there," a voice sounded behind Willow causing her to jump. Willow turned to see a brunette with an irritated look in her grey eyes.

"Do you know where she is? Or when she'll be back?" Willow asked, locking her green eyes with the grey of the other girls.

"She's not coming back. Are you Willow?" the girl asked, waiting for Willow to nod before reaching out to grab something and holding it out. "She asked me to give this to you."

Willow took the envelope and looked at it before lifting her eyes to the girl again. "What do you mean she's not coming back? Why?"

The girl shrugged. "She said that would explain everything. Didn't tell me anything except she's leaving and to give this to a redhead named Willow."

Willow frowned as she watched the girl close the door and looked at the envelope in her hands. Clutching it tightly in her hand, Willow walked up the stairs to her room and sat on the bed. Looking at her name on the face of the envelope, Willow recognized Tara's handwriting and quickly opened it.

She pulled out a sheet of paper, neatly folded into thirds. Unfolding the page, Willow stared at the short letter on the page, reading it through multiple times as tears fell down her cheeks.

_Willow,_

_I have wrote this letter a thousand times the last few days, trying to figure out the best way to say what needs to be said. And this is the only way I can seem to word it without making things worse for you. I have come to the realization that it is wrong of me to stay here making everything harder on you. I know that you love Oz and that he is the one you wish to be with. So I have decided to return home. It's for the best for both of us. You have the man who always held your heart, and I no longer have to fear the secrets I held within myself. My family knows my secrets so I no longer have to fear exposure._

_I'm sorry if it's hard to read this, but we both know it's easier then doing this in person. Maybe that's wrong of me, but I don't care. I know I would not be able to say any of this to you without stuttering and I'd like my last goodbye to be said with dignity. I wish you happiness with Oz, for you deserve nothing but happiness. Thank you for showing me what friendship is. Thank you for giving me a chance to share my magick with a powerful witch. You will be extremely powerful one day, Willow._

_Well it seems I've written more than what was needed. I'm sorry again if this hurts you, but I needed you to know that I wish you happiness. Don't try to look for me. Have a good life full of love and happiness, Willow. May the Goddess give you her blessings._

_With Love,_  
_Tara_

Willow wiped the tears from her eyes as she tried to let the words settle in her broken heart. She was so surprised that it hurt so much to lose Tara, possibly more than it had hurt when Oz left so long ago. She couldn't believe that she had sat on things so long that Tara had left.

"It's a joke," Willow whispered to herself. "She's just doing this to help me figure things out. She's only going to be gone a few days then she'll knock on my door and prove it's a joke. She can't be gone." Willow knew she was lying to herself, but she also knew she couldn't accept that Tara was gone. She couldn't let Tara be gone.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own the cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only own original character. **

**A/N: This is an AU version of what could have happened. Everything before New Moon Rising happened the same way as the show. It is a Willow/Tara story, so if anyone was questioning it, there's your answer. Sorry for any fans of Willow and Oz who got their hopes up reading the summary. I liked them together, but Willow belongs with Tara. Enjoy. **


	2. Chapter One: Jane Doe

**Chapter One: Jane Doe**

_6yearslater_

Willow awoke from her dreams, surprised. That had been the first time in years that she had dreamt of Tara Maclay, the first and last woman she had ever loved. Willow remembered turning to Oz after Tara left, letting him help heal her broken heart, and then once again letting him inside of it.

It had been over 6 years since she saw or heard from Tara and had stopped using magic. It had been over 4 years since she said her 'I do's' with Oz, making her Mrs. Daniel Osborn. It had been more than 3 years since her she realized she was pregnant, and it has been less than 2 years since she said goodbye to her husband and watched as they placed his body in the ground.

Willow looked at the brunette laying next to her. After Oz, she had closed off her heart again, not wanting to be hurt anymore. She had also given up on men, knowing Oz would be the last man she loved. The only person who could still hurt her were the ones already in her heart. Her daughter and friends.

Willow smiled as she thought of her beautiful little girl. She had the same red hair as Willow herself, but her eyes were the color of her father, a soft blue. Willow could look at her daughter forever. Every time she saw her, she'd think of Oz. Shay Fate Osborn was 3 years old and just as smart as her parents. She had her father's smile, and her mother's tendency to babble. She also was the only person who had full control of her mother's heart.

Willow felt her heart break again as she realized that Oz would never get to see how much their baby had grown. Wanting to shut off her emotions, Willow rolled over and captured Kennedy's lips, hoping to loose herself in the familiar sensations the brunette caused in her. She felt Kennedy stir under the kiss and before long, the brunette was kissing her back, running her hands down the redhead's slim body.

With very little persuasion on her part, Willow convinced Kennedy to take the lead, wanting to let the brunette take her mind off her broken heart. Closing her green eyes, Willow let herself go. She lost herself in the feel of Kennedy's body pressed against her own. Let herself get lost in the brown depths of Kennedy's eyes.

When reality came back to her, Willow sat up in bed and looked at Kennedy. "I'm going to go shower before I check on Shay," Willow told her before climbing out of bed. She felt Kennedy's eyes on her naked body as she grabbed a robe and threw it on, walking into the bathroom to wash the smell of sex from her body.

Willow stepped into the shower and rested her head against the wall as the water streamed down her body. She felt the tears come, the ones she had been fighting constantly since Oz's death. The ones that she knew she'd always be fighting. She closed her eyes as she let them fall down her cheek to be washed from her skin by the water coming from the shower-head.

After a little while in the shower, Willow had calmed her grief and finished her shower. Turning off the water, she stepped out and dressed for the day, heading towards her daughter's room. She knew Shay would be awake because the child never seemed to sleep. She smiled when she opened the door to find her 3 year old laying on her stomach as she focused on the picture she was drawing.

"Hey Baby," Willow said, walking in the room to sit with her daughter. "What are you doing?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

Shay turned her head to look at her mother and shot her soft smile. "Hi Mommy," Shay said, hugging her mother. "Picture," she announced in her own toddler way, holding up the drawing to her mother.

Willow smiled at the picture of a dog and cat and then looked at her young daughter. "It's beautiful, Baby," she said, kissing her daughter the top of her head.

Willow contemplated for a second before laying on her own stomach next to her daughter and smiling. "Can I join you?" she asked, receiving a nod from her daughter who handed her a paper and crayons.

Willow started drawing, not even paying attention to the paper before her until she felt a soft touch on her arm. "What is it?" her daughter asked, bringing Willow back to the present.

"I don't know," Willow admitted, smiling at the strange picture before her. "I wasn't really paying attention," Willow told her daughter, smiling sheepishly.

"Mommy can't draw," Shay said, picking on her mother. She saw Willow's smile widen and watched her lift an eyebrow.

"Really?" Willow asked, watching her daughter nod. "Come here, Mutchkin," Willow said, grabbing her daughter and tickling her. She listened to her daughters screams of delight and laughed.

A figure in her doorway caught her attention, and Willow turned her head to see Kennedy watching them. "Buffy and Xander are here," Kennedy said, irritation clear in her voice. She didn't like Willow's best friends and Willow knew the feeling was mutual.

"I'll be right out," Willow said, watching Kennedy walk off before standing up and grabbing her daughter. "Want to go see Aunt Buffy and Uncle Xander?"

"Uh huh," Shay said, nodding happily.

Willow smiled at Shay and carried her downstairs to see the two people who have always been there for her. When Willow had lost Oz, she had been broken. Buffy Summers and Xander Harris did everything they could to help their best friend, but it was Anya Jenkins who had pulled Willow through it. It had surprised everyone when Willow turned to Anya for comfort. It was hard knowing that Anya was gone now, lost during their last battle in Sunnydale. Willow missed the ex-vengeance demon. The blond's brown eyes had held warmth in them that was easily overlooked.

Willow closed her eyes as she tried to change her thoughts to something a little happier. Thinking about Anya or Oz always left her feeling so depressed, and Shay would pick up on it if she didn't let her mind go elsewhere. Letting her thoughts turn to the present, Willow smiled at her two friends and gave them both a hug.

"It's good to see you guys," Willow said, stepping back.

"You too," Buffy said as she held out her hand for the three year old. Buffy's blond hair and blue eyes made her look like one of the girls in high school that many people feared, but Buffy had been down to earth for as long as Willow could remember, becoming friends with the nerdy girl easily.

Ever since Shay's birth, Buffy and Xander spoiled the young child, enjoying playing an important role in her life. Willow handed Shay over to her best friend and turned to Xander, who's brown eyes were amused as he ran a hand through his dark brown hair. "How's work?" she asked, letting Buffy entertain herself with her child.

Xander smiled at Willow. "It's great, been busy. You know how us construction guys are," he said, hugging his best friend again.

Willow and Xander talked for a few minutes before Buffy's pager went off. "Oops. Got to run, apparently the Jane Doe that has been in a coma woke up and is ready to be questioned. I'll see you guys later." Buffy handed Shay to Xander before walking out.

Buffy was a detective, using it as a cover to track when demonic activity may be happening instead of hearing about it through news reports. She had heard about the Jane Doe from Buffy, knowing that the girl had been found nearly dead on the side of the road and had been in a coma since the incident.

Willow looked after her friend as she disappeared and then turned to Xander, continuing their long conversation.

* * *

Buffy walked into the small hospital room, looking at a very familiar blond. "Tara?" she asked, confused for a moment.

The girl's blue eyes locked with Buffy's and they stared at each other. "Who are you?" the girl asked, not sure what was going on.

"It's me, Buffy Summers. We went to UC Sunnydale together for a few years before you transfered."

The young girl stared at her in confusion. "I don't know what your talking about? I don't even know who I am," the girl admitting as frustration consumed her. Her over emotional state exhausted her, and the girl slipped into a peaceful sleep.


	3. Chapter Two: Unexpected Reunion

**Chapter Two: Unexpected Reunion**

Buffy stared at the figure in front of her in disbelief. She had met Tara once or twice because of Willow, but she didn't know that much about her. She did know that Tara had been the reason Willow and Oz had such a difficult time getting back together. Especially since Willow was in love with both Tara and Oz. Willow's heart had broke once again after Tara left, leaving only a note telling Willow goodbye.

Buffy frowned down at Tara's sleeping form and was jerked from her thoughts as a voice said her name.

"Detective Summers, do you know her?"

Buffy turned to look at her partner and shook her head. "Not well. One of my friend's knew her."

"Would we be able to trust that this girl is Tara Maclay?" The other detective asked, looking at Buffy for confirmation.

"I wouldn't be able to tell you for certain, but I know someone who can," Buffy said, waiting for a nod of approval before pulling her cell phone out and calling her closest friend.

* * *

Willow was sitting in the living room with Shay and Xander. Kennedy had walked out of the house, claiming she had errands, and Shay was now curled up in Willow's lap sound asleep. Willow smiled at her sleeping child before looking back at Xander as they continued talking.

"Why are you with her, Will? Other than the fact that she's safe," Xander questioned, wanting to understand his friend's reasons for dating her current girlfriend.

"Exactly that, Xander. Kennedy is and always will be safe. I don't have to fear loving her because she's not the type I would ever fall for. Look at Tara and Oz, they were two of the kindest people you could meet, and neither said much. That's the type I seem to fall for. Someone who puts other's before themselves." Willow paused as a tear ran down her cheek at the thought of her dead husband.

"You miss him," Xander stated, not bothering to leave it as a question. "Do you miss her too?" he asked, knowing his friend was still hurting.

"Yes. I think losing her will always hurt because I'll never know what we could have had, but with Oz, losing what we did have hurts so much worse."

Xander nodded in understanding, pulling his friend in a hug as she let the tears fall down her cheek. "Kennedy is safe. Maybe I will one day love her, but I'll never be in love with her. She'll never be able to break my heart," Willow whispered, holding back the sobs.

They sat together for a while in silence until the sound of Willow's cell phone ringing interrupted the quiet. Xander, seeing that Willow wasn't able to stand without waking Shay, walked over to grab the phone from the counter and answered.

"Willow's phone. Xander speaking," Xander said, smiling when he heard the voice on the other line. "Hey Buff." Pause. "Yeah, she's right here."

Willow held out her hand as Xander placed the phone in it. "Hey Buffy," Willow said, after putting the phone to her ear. "Really? She's awake? That's great," Willow said, listening as Buffy spoke. "Okay. Um, yeah. Let me see if Xander minds watching Shay then I'll head over." Willow looked up to see Xander nod before talking again. "Xander's said he'll watch her. Be there soon," Willow said, before hanging up.

Willow eased out from under her daughter and hugged Xander. "Thanks, Xander. For everything. And for what it's worth. I miss Anya too," she said, kissing his cheek before walking out of the house.

* * *

Walking into the hospital, Willow walked up to the nurse's station and smiled. "Hi, Detective Summer's called and asked me to meet her here," Willow informed her.

"Down the hall to your left. Room 120," the nurse said, pointing down the hall.

"Thanks," Willow responded, before taking the directions in search of her friend.

When Willow found the room she knocked on it to get the attention of the others inside. When Buffy nodded at her to enter, Willow opened the door and walked in, looking at her friend curiously.

"What's up?" she asked, closing the door behind her.

"Willow Rosenberg?" asked Buffy's partner, a tall man with short brown hair, and dark green eyes.

"Yes. Why?"

"We need you to see if you recognize this woman. Detective Summers seems to think you might," the man said, pointing over his shoulder.

He was still in Willow's way, and Willow knew he wouldn't move. Stepping around him, Willow froze as her eyes locked on the sleeping form in the hospital bed.

"Tara?" Willow whispered in surprise before turning to Buffy. "How did you find her?" Willow asked, looking directly into her best friend's blue eyes.

"I told you about the Jane Doe, Will. I didn't find her. Someone else did. They just assigned me to the case to question her when she wakes up," Buffy reminded her, frowning at the lost look that had entered Willow's eyes.

"What did she say when you questioned her?"

"She doesn't remember anything. She doesn't know who she is. I needed you to identify her."

Willow nodded.

"So this is Tara Maclay?" the male detective asked, looking between the two girls.

"Yes. That's Tara," Willow responded, still trying to understand.

"Well that solves one case at least," he said, catching Buffy's attention.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, staring at her partner.

"Tara Maclay has been missing for six months. I can finally tell her father that we found her and she's in the hospital."

"Wait, shouldn't you find out what put her in the hospital?" Willow questioned, staring at him in disbelief. "What if it was her family?"

"Why would they call her in missing then?" he asked, obviously thinking Willow was stupid.

"To make it look like he's innocent," Buffy said, catching on to Willow's thought process. "If she would have died, we wouldn't think to look at the 'grieving' father," Buffy said, looking at her best friend. "We should wait until Tara starts to remember some things before sending her home to her family."

"Summers, don't forget you're the junior partner here," he said, reminding her that he was her boss. "I think it'd be easier if she was in a familiar environment with people who know her. Who better than her family?" he asked.

"Willow," Buffy said looking at her friend.

"Me?"

"Her?"

"Yes. Willow and Tara had a relationship in college. They knew each other very well. I think she'd be the best person to help, and at least I know Willow wouldn't hurt a fly," Buffy said, looking at her friend to see if she could handle it.

"I don't know, Buff. There was that incident after Oz's death where I went a little on the psycho side and..."

"You'll be fine," Buffy said, cutting her friend off before she could say something that would get her in trouble. "Will you do it?"

Willow thought about it for a second before frowning. "Yeah. I'll help her."


	4. Chapter Three: Hidden Feelings

**Chapter Three: Hidden Feelings**

Willow stared at the familiar figure on the bed, feeling the pain and confusion of the past. It had hurt to lose Tara, and now when her life had changed so much, Tara was back. She didn't know how to deal with that, didn't know how to accept it. With Tara back, her heart was once again going to be at risk. The blond never had to try to get to her. She was the one who healed her after Oz had left, the one who had opened her heart to love. She was also the one who ripped Willow's heart out once more. Losing Tara then had been painful, worse than Oz leaving her, but Oz had helped her through it, held her when she cried. Now it seemed like time had reversed for her once more. Tara would once again be here with her, but this time she was helping Tara.

Willow closed her eyes and took a cleansing breath as she took the seat next to Tara's sleeping form. Buffy and her partner had left earlier after a long argument about Tara's safety. It had taken a while for him to agree with them, too agree to Willow taking care of Tara.

As Willow stared at Tara's peaceful face, she felt her heart break once more, remembering her love for the witch. She remembered the pain of going to see Tara, just to receive the goodbye note. It hadn't just hurt; it had nearly destroyed her. Now here she was once more with Tara and the blond wouldn't know who she is. She wasn't going to remember anything about her, or the love they once shared.

A tear slid silently down Willow's cheek as she felt the pain of that loss once more. She quickly wiped the tear from her cheek as she tried to regain control of her emotions. While Willow struggled with her tears, she saw Tara slowly start to wake. When the blue eyes fluttered open, Willow watched the eyes slip over the room before looking at Willow.

"Who are you?" she asked, whispering the words in confusion.

Willow gave Tara a shy smile and leaned towards her a little. "I'm Willow. We were...close in college."

Tara looked at her confused. "Close?" she asked. "Like friends?"

Willow nodded. "Yeah. We were friends," Willow said, looking at Tara with a sad look in her eyes.

"What happened?" Tara asked, noticing the past tense wording.

"You left," Willow responded, not bothering to give more of an explanation.

Tara frowned at the words but didn't question her any further. She could tell it was still a sore subject for the beautiful redhead beside her. "I'm sorry," Tara responded after a moment of silence.

Willow turned to look into the familiar blue eyes and gave her a soft smile. "You're apologizing for something you don't remember doing?" Willow asked.

Tara just nodded. "I hurt you by leaving. I'm sorry I did."

Willow shrugged. "It's okay."

Seeing the pain still clear on Willow's face, Tara reached out and touched her hand gently. "I'm sorry I hurt you," she said again, hoping to make the redhead understand that she hated hurting her.

Willow nodded. "It's fine," she said, looking away.

Tara frowned, but let it go, still seeing the pain in her eyes. She looked down at where their hands were still touching and frowned. When they touched, she was surprised to feel the spark that went through her when her hand touched Willow's. It wasn't something she would forget lightly, and yet she couldn't remember it. She couldn't remember the touch.

Feeling the familiar sensation caused by Tara's touch, Willow eased her hand away, unable to deal with what the blond's touch seemed to do to her.

"Sorry," Tara said, snatching her hand back as soon as she felt Willow start pulling away. Tucking her hand under her arm, Tara tried to control herself. She didn't remember the woman next to her. Didn't remember her touch, but something about her drew her to the redhead. "I'm sorry," she whispered again, feeling somewhat rejected.

Willow, noticing the expression on the blond's face frowned. "No. I'm sorry. It was my fault. I just...Its just weird seeing you after all this time. It's been years, Tara. You don't remember who I was, and even if you did, you don't know the person I've become," Willow said, looking into the blond's eyes.

Tara nodded, unsure why she felt so hurt by the words. The redhead was right. She didn't know Willow, not the one she supposably use to know, and not the woman that the redhead had become.

"You're right," Tara whispered. "I don't. I'm sorry," Tara said, looking away from the unfamiliar redhead.

* * *

A few days had past and Willow continued to make time to see Tara while she was in the hospital. Though they didn't say much to one another, Tara was getting use to Willow's company. When Willow came in one day with a box of pictures of the two of them, she felt her heart break once more at the happiness that was clear in her face.

She could see that she was happy being around the redhead, maybe it was because of the feelings she felt towards the girl, but she couldn't be sure since she didn't know what she felt before with the redhead. Tara watched the other girl smile at some secret memory when she looked at a picture of the two of them hugging each other in a dorm room. She couldn't stop her heart from fluttering at the secret smile, and it made her feel as though her heart was melting.

Being around Willow made Tara feel whole, it wasn't something she understood. She didn't think she ever would understand her feelings for the girl beside her. Willow had said they were friends, just close friends, and the redhead didn't seem like she was going to hide something from her. Tara hated not knowing how she felt about the redhead before. She hated not knowing what the redhead was feeling, what the redhead knew.

After the day passed by quickly, Tara watched Willow walk from the room and frowned as one thought came to mind as the redhead disappeared through the door.

"I love you."

* * *

**A/N: It's short, I know. I was having a slight case of writer's block. Next chapter hopefully will be better. Please review. It helps when I get reviews. **


	5. Chapter Four: Welcome Home

**Chapter Four: Welcome Home**

Being released from the hospital made things strange for Tara. Having become use to the familiar environment, she wasn't looking forward to moving into Willow's home and being in the way. Some part of Tara knew that she wouldn't be, but she couldn't help but feel as though Willow didn't want her around.

Looking at the redhead sitting behind the wheel as they drove through town, Tara ducked her head so her hair covered her face as she spoke up. "You really d-don't h-have to do th-this," Tara whispered so low Willow barely heard.

Turning to look at the blond, Willow frowned before looking back at the road. "I want to," Willow responded simply.

"But why?" Tara asked, staring at the redhead in confusion. "Why would you bother taking care of me? I'm not worth it."

Turning to stare at the blond in disbelief, Willow's jaw hung open. "You are worth it, Tara. You've always been worth it."

Willow's words surprised Tara, making her turn to face Willow. "I have?"

"Yes," Willow said, looking back out the front window as they pulled into a driveway.

Tara watched curiously as the house came into view. Standing before her, was a white two story house with a wrap around porch. Feeling the nerves wash over her once more, Tara frowned at the house, knowing once again that she didn't belong here in this place.

As the car pulled to a stop, both climbed out and Tara stared up at the house. "If you head on in, Kennedy will show you to the guest room," Willow told her as she opened the trunk to pull out Tara's stuff from her hospital room.

Tara nodded and headed inside, unsure of who Kennedy was and if he would even like her. As the door opened, a woman stood before Tara with dark brown eyes and long brown hair. "Are you Tara?" the girl asked, waiting for a nod in return. "I'm Kennedy. You're room will be this way." Kennedy led Tara up the stairs and down the hall, pointing out the bathroom before stopping before a door. "Here you go."

Tara opened the door and looked inside, surprised to find the room so spacious. "Thank you," Tara whispered, turning to face the brunette.

Kennedy just offered a small smile to the blond before walking downstairs to see Willow again. As she came into the living room, she watched the redhead set a small bag on the floor before walking over to her. "Is that all she had?" Kennedy asked, wrapping her arms around Willow.

Willow nodded. "Yeah. That's all she had. Buffy had brought her a few things at the hospital, but that's pretty much all that's here."

Kennedy nodded and looked into Willow's eyes. "She's cute," Kennedy acknowledged, looking at Willow with a small smile.

"Who? Buffy?" Willow looked at Kennedy curiously not sure how to acknowledge that. "I guess she is, but I could never see her like that. Besides, Buff's completely straight, and like family to me. But hey, if your interested, then that's your views and all."

"Tara," Kennedy said, looking at Willow in confusion. "Why would you think I'd be attracted to Buffy if we can't even stand being in the same room as each other?"

Willow just shrugged. "Well, we were talking about Buffy before you said that," Willow explained, feeling sheepish. "Wait? You think Tara's cute?"

Kennedy leaned in and kissed Willow gently. "She's got that cute innocence about her. Kinda like you do," she explained.

Willow thought about it and realized that Tara had always been like she was in high school. "I guess your right. I never realized it. Where's Shay?" Willow asked, noticing it was too quiet for her daughter to be home.

"Xander is keeping her for the night so Tara can get settled in."

Willow smiled. "That was nice of him," Willow said, looking at the stairs. "I should probably go check on Tara."

Kennedy nodded and let Willow walk upstairs, feeling a little jealous that her girlfriend was looking after someone else.

Walking down the hall to Tara's room, Willow stopped outside the door and knocked gently. "Tara?" Willow called, waiting for Tara to open the door.

Once the door opened, Willow smiled at Tara. "Hey. You doing okay?"

Tara smiled nervously at Willow. "Yeah. I just feel out of place, you know? I don't remember you, but you take me into your home and watch out for me. I shouldn't be here," Tara explained, grateful she kept her stutter from appearing.

Willow frowned slightly before walking over to Tara, taking her hand in her own. "Yes you do. Tara, you were a big part of my life. You helped me heal once before. Now let me repay that favor by trying to help you remember your life," Willow said, squeezing Tara's hands gently.

Tara nodded, looking down at their joined hands and feeling a static shock going through her from Willow's touch. "O-ok-kay," Tara stuttered, her nerves getting the best of her at the touch.

Willow smiled gently at Tara squeezing her hand slightly before releasing her it. "My daughter's at Xander's tonight because we wanted to give you time to get use to being here before the whirlwind catches you. I'll come and get you when dinner's done unless you want to come back downstairs."

Tara just nodded and waited until Willow walked back down the stairs. It was going to be strange living in this house, and it didn't help that she was in love with the woman who was taking care of her. Turning, Tara walked back into her room, closing the door as she looked at the picture that Willow had given her of the two of them to help her remember.

She stared into the distance, trying to understand how she was going to regain her memories of someone she had no sense of recogning when she was around her.

* * *

**A/N: So before anyone starts saying that things between Kennedy and Tara seem wrong, here's how I see it. Tara doesn't remember Willow, therefore has no reason to hate Kennedy. Kennedy believes she has nothing to fear from Tara because they only dating in college and Willow had gotten back with Oz in college. That is why I'm having them be friendly right now. Thanks for reading, please review/follow/favorite. Especially Review. **


	6. Chapter Five: Babblefest

**Chapter Five: Babblefest**

Standing by the window of her room, Willow thought back to college and the few months she had been with Tara. She had missed Tara all these years. Even after she married Oz, part of Willow always felt like it was missing because Tara wasn't there. Now here she was years later and Tara couldn't remember anything about her and their time in college together. It hurt Willow to know that Tara could just forget her that easily, that she could just forget what they had.

Forcing the memories to the back of her mind, Willow stood up and headed to Tara's room, wanting to check on her and inform her that dinner was ready. Stopping outside Tara's door, Willow knocked on the door, waiting for Tara to open it. When the door opened, Willow felt her heart jump at the familiar sight of the woman she once loved standing in front of her in a pair of blue jeans and a purple tank top.

"Hey. I just wanted to let you know that if you're hungry, dinner is ready. I mean, If you don't want to eat yet, I can put you a plate in the microwave, or I can just bring you one up here if you don't want to eat with us. It's really up to you. I don't want you to think that you have to eat with me, or to think you have to eat now. I mean..."

"I'll be right down," Tara interrupted, with a small smile on her face from listening to the adorable babbling.

"Oh, okay. You don't have to if you don't want to? I can bring a plate up? Or put one in the microwave?" Willow offered, not wanting to push Tara too much.

"Do you not want me to come down?" Tara asked, feeling confused.

"No. I do want you to come. I'm just saying that you don't _have_ to. I don't want you to feel like you have to come down and eat dinner with us. If you're not comfortable, I'd understand. I just don't want you to be uncomfortable," Willow said, taking a deep breath to stop her second stream of babble. "Sorry, I babble when I'm nervous."

Tara smiled at Willow. "It's okay. Do I make you nervous?"

"No. I'm just nervous cause it's been a long time since we saw each other. I don't know what to say, and it's worse since you don't remember me, so I'm afraid I'll say something and confuse or frighten you," Willow explained, hoping Tara would understand.

Tara nodded. "I understand. I'll be down in a minute. I just want to change my shirt," she said, indicating to her shirt that Willow recognized as her usual sleep shirt.

"Okay," Willow replied, smiling back at her before walking downstairs.

After a few minutes, Tara walked down the stairs and into the kitchen where Willow was setting two plates on the table. "Where's Kennedy?" Tara asked, curious about where the brunette was at.

"She's working tonight so she's not going to be staying here. She only stays a few nights a week when she's not working," Willow explained, handing one of the plates to Tara. I really hope you're not a vegetarian. I know you weren't in college, but if that changed, then I'll make you something else. I really should have asked before I just assumed."

"Willow," Tara said, trying to stop the babble.

"I'll actually just go ahead and make you something else because it was really inconsiderate of me to just assume that you didn't change from college. And..." Willow's babble cut off when a hand covered her mouth.

"I'm not a vegetarian. At least not that I know of," Tara said, removing her hand from Willow's mouth and giving her a lopsided smile as humor flashed in her sky blue eyes.

"Sorry," Willow muttered, feeling embarrassed about her constant babble around her former lover.

"Nervous?" Tara asked, still smiling as she looked into Willow's emerald eyes.

"Yeah," Willow whispered, before taking a bite of her steak so that she couldn't speak any more.

Tara smiled and started eating her own food, giving a slight moan as the tender meat touched her tongue and sent her taste buds dancing. When Willow heard the moan, her whole body seemed to catch fire as she heard the familiar sound that she had loved so much.

"Good?" she squeaked out, trying to calm her nerves.

"It's amazing," Tara responded, not noticing the tension that filled Willow so suddenly.

"Good, great. That's great. Amazing is good," Willow said softly, taking a few quick drinks of the beer she had sitting in front of her.

"Are you okay?" Tara asked, seeing that Willow was now extremely tense.

"Fine. I'm Finey McFine Fine," she said, looking anywhere but at Tara.

"W-Willow? Am I m-making you unc-comfortable?" Tara whispered, feeling shy once again.

"No. No," Willow quickly responded, hating that she was making Tara stutter again.

"Then wh-what's w-wrong?" Tara asked, not liking the tension in the room.

"Sorry, I was just remembering something from college about us that made me a little nervous," Willow responded, hoping Tara wouldn't ask what the thoughts were.

"Oh," Tara said, not wanting to make things worse and decided to change the subject to something that might be safer. "What was I like in college?"

Willow thought about it for a moment before answering. "You were really shy. I met you in a wiccan group. The group was full of wannabees and I think you were the only other real witch in the group. A few days after we met, we started doing spells together. You were really sweet and understanding, and a bit shy. I think you reminded me of how I was in high school. It was so easy to talk to you, and I loved spending time with you. I think thats why it was so easy to fall..." Willow trailed off as she realized what she was about to admit.

Tara's eyes widened as she finished the sentence in her own mind. "We were together, weren't we?"

Willow stared into Tara's blue eyes before nodding once. "Yes. We were together for a few months before you left," Willow whispered, feeling the pain of Tara's departure once again.

"I hurt you by leaving. Was I the one that ended our relationship?"

"Yes. My ex-boyfriend had come back wanting to fix things between us, and you left before I could even figure out my emotions."

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update this. I was going through major writer's block and finally figured out what to do for this chapter. I hope you like it. Thank you Gimpy72 and Matash21 for reading part of the chapter for me. **


	7. Chapter Six: Questions and Answers

**Chapter Six: Questions and Answers**

_"I hurt you by leaving. Was I the one that ended our relationship?"_

_"Yes. My ex-boyfriend had come back wanting to fix things between us, and you left before I could even figure out my emotions."_

"Why would I do that?" Tara asked, confused by Willow's words.

"I don't know, but you left this," Willow said, walking over to a drawer and pulling out a note, handing it to Tara to read.

As Tara read over the words, she frowned. She knew from the words in the letter that Willow must have meant a great deal to her if she was willing to let her go especially if she felt anything near what she felt now for the redhead.

"What secret?" she asked, not knowing anything she may feel needs to be hidden from the girl in front of her.

"I don't know. You never told me anything that would seem bad enough to hide. I had trouble figuring that out," Willow said, looking at Tara.

Tara just nodded, still not wanting to ask the question that was begging to be asked. "Did you end up with him?" Tara asked, knowing the answer could hurt, but still avoiding the most painful question.

"Yes, I did. Oz was Shay's father. He was murdered before she was even a year old," Willow told her, seeing the pain in Tara's eyes.

"I'm sorry," Tara whispered, not knowing how to respond to Willow's words.

"Its not your fault."

"Can I ask you something?" Tara said, lowering her eyes to the floor.

Willow nodded until she realized Tara wasn't looking at her and forced an answer out of her mouth. "Yes."

"Did you l-love me?" Tara whispered, afraid to hear the answer because she knew no matter what it would hurt her.

"Yes, I did," Willow admitted, watching Tara for a reaction.

"B-But you ma-married him?"

"Tara, you left. You left before I could even understand what I was feeling for either of you. I loved you both but I didn't know which one of you I wanted to be with. Things with you were new. You were the first woman I had ever dated, let alone fell in love with. You were the first witch I had truly connected with on ever level, and you were so sweet and amazing. But Oz was my first true love. Everything with him was familiar and special because he was my first everything. My first kiss, my first real boyfriend, and my first," she explained hoping Tara would understand. "You left. I had no real reason to not become involved with Oz again after you left."

Tara just nodded, realizing that it was her own fault. "If...If I had stayed, do you think you and I would be together right now?"

"I don't know. I think so. I know I went to your room to tell you I was in love with you, but was so confused about how to tell Oz, but instead I received a note from your neighbor."

Closing her eyes, Tara tried to control her feelings. "D-do you wish I-I would have stayed?"

"I honestly don't know. I did then because I wanted you. But if you had, I wouldn't have Shay. I wouldn't have married Oz and felt that happiness for two years as his wife before his death," Willow said, looking at Tara's face hidden by her hair. "And if you had stayed, it might have been you I buried that day instead of him."

Tara lifted her head, looking into Willow's emerald eyes as her words processed. "W-what?"

"Tara, I loved you so much when we were together. I know that if you had stayed I would have only come to love you even more. If I had lost you, I wouldn't have been able to go on with my life. I wouldn't be me. Losing Oz was hard. He meant so much to me. He always will. Everytime I look at our daughter, I remember how much I loved him. If you had stayed, I would have continued using magicks. I don't know what I would have done if you had been the one shot that day."

"Y-you said you love me, r-right?" Tara asked, waiting for Willow to nod in return. "Were we...were we l-lovers?"

Willow nodded again. "Yes. Our first time together was after Buffy, the girl who was in the hospital when you woke up, switched bodies with Faith, a slayer with a really dark past. We did a spell to find out where Buffy's spirit was and the spell was really intense. After we fixed them, I came to your room that night wanting to talk about the spell and it's side effects. We didn't get much talking done," Willow said, smiling knowingly at Tara.

Tara smiled nervously in return, knowing exactly what Willow meant. "Do you ever regret our relationship?"

"No. Goddess no, Tara. My relationship with you was so amazing. Sometimes I still dream about you, even after all these years," Willow admitted, feeling embarrassed as soon as the words left her mouth.

"How does Kennedy feel about that?"

"Kennedy doesn't know about our former relationship. She's extremely jealous of my friendship with Buffy and Xander, so I really don't want to see how she'll react around one of my former lovers," Willow said, looking into Tara's eyes once again.

"Kennedy doesn't like Buffy and Xander?"

"I don't think it's that she doesn't like them. I think she's just jealous that I love them like family but won't love her. After Oz's death, I didn't ever want to love again."

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**A/N: Thank you Gimpy72 for all your help. I really appreciate it. **


	8. Chapter Seven: Shay's Secrets

**Chapter Seven: Shay's Secrets**

Two weeks had passed since the conversation at dinner on Tara's first night in the house. Everything had become awkward between the two girls since that night, and they rarely spoke about anything unless it was the usual polite conversation.

The only time Tara would see a smile grace Willow's lips in her presence was when Tara would spend time with Shay. The little girl had won Tara's heart the first time she met her. Shay had showered Tara with questions, having a different one after Tara finished the one before that. Tara had been amazed by how the young child's mind worked, and happily answered whatever questions had been thrown her way. Willow, having witnessed this, was surprised by Tara's gentleness with her daughter. Most people would get annoyed with Shay's curiousness, not wanting to answer every question her daughter would ask. After that, Tara spent most of her time with the young girl, much to Shay's delight.

One afternoon, Willow walked downstairs to make breakfast and was surprised to find Tara and Shay in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal and talking quietly to each other.

"Morning," Willow said, walking over to her daughter and kissing her on the head.

"Morning Mommy," Shay said, smiling brightly at her mother.

"Morning," Tara whispered as she gave Willow a shy smile and looked down at her hands. "Sorry, she was hungry and didn't want to wake you," Tara explained, feeling guilty thinking she may have overstepped.

"It's alright. Did she wake you?" Willow asked, pulling out a bowl from the kitchen cabinet and a box of cereal.

"No. I was already awake and down here reading," Tara admitted, poking Shay playfully in the ribs.

Shay giggled slightly at Tara before taking another bite of her cereal. "Mommy, can me and Tara go to the park?" Shay asked, looking hopefully at her mother.

Willow lifted her head from where she was pouring milk into her bowl of Frosted Flakes and frowned at her daughter. "What?" she asked, wanting to know if she heard the little girl right.

"Please, Mommy, please," Shay begged, leaning forward and putting on her best puppy dog face, widening her eyes and pouting at her mother. "Please."

Willow stared at her daughter, thinking about the question for a few moments before shooting one back at the little girl. "Did you ask Tara if she wanted to go?"

Shay smiled and looked at Tara. "Want to go?" she said, her smiling brightly at Tara.

Tara nodded, giving the little girl a sweet smile.

"Can we, Mama?" Shay asked, turning back to her mother.

"I guess. Don't be gone for too long though. Kennedy will be here later. She said she wants to spend some time with you," Willow told her, putting the milk back in the fridge and missing the look of disdain on her daughter's face.

"Do I have to?" Shay whispered, frowning at her mother.

"Shay, it'd be nice if you'd give her a chance. She wants to spend time with you," Willow said, turning to face her daughter and seeing the angry pout on her child's face. "It won't kill you," she promised the girl.

"I don't want to," Shay grumbled, looking down into her cereal in irritation.

"Shay Fate Osborn," Willow warned, her tone going low and informing her daughter that she was about to be in trouble if she didn't stop.

"Yes Ma'am," the child whispered, looking up shyly at her mother's face. "I'm sorry, Mommy."

Willow nodded. "It's alright," she answered, and the three finished their breakfast in silence.

* * *

A few hours later, Tara and Shay ran around the park. Shay always loved playing with Tara because the blond would drop all of her barriers that she kept up for others and let the little girl she the inner child. It was one of the many reasons why Shay had secretly been hoping her mother would stop being distant and get to know Tara.

As Shay thought about her mother and Tara together, Tara walked over and knelt in front of the thoughtful child, curious about what made the little girl go quiet and thoughtful. "Hey, Sweetie. You okay?" Tara asked, touching Shay's arm gently.

Shay blinked a few times, staring at Tara in confusion. "Huh?"

"What's wrong, Sweetie? You got kinda quiet," Tara whispered, looking at the girl with concern in her sapphire eyes.

"Oh. I was thinking," Shay admitted, smiling shyly at Tara before looking down at her feet.

"About?"

"You and Mommy. I like you more than Kennedy," Shay admitted, glancing up at Tara shyly.

Tara smiled sadly at the little girl and cupped her cheek. "Your mom likes her. Maybe you just need to get to know her, give her a chance," Tara said softly.

"I do, but she doesn't like me. She thinks I'm a pain," Shay whispered, looking into Tara's eyes again.

"I don't think that's true. I think she just isn't use to being around children. Not everyone knows how to deal with a curious mind," Tara informed her, giving her a lopsided smile.

Shay smiled back and wrapped her arms around Tara in a tight hug. "I love you, Tara."

* * *

**A/N: Thank you Gimpy72 for always helping me with my stories. Its always good to have someone to ask for help. **

**A/N2: I'm not good with writing child talk, so I write what they mean to say but not the way they say it. If it helps just change it in your head to the voice of a very intelligent 3 year old. **


	9. Chapter Eight: Bonding Disaster

**Chapter Eight: Bonding Disaster**

Arriving at the house later that afternoon, Tara gave Shay another quick hug before walking up the stairs and letting Shay spend some time with Kennedy. Even though Shay begged Tara not to leave her alone with the brunette, Tara knew that Willow wanted her daughter to get to know her girlfriend and wasn't going to interfere. She had told Shay she'd be fine and headed to her room with a heavy heart at the sadness in the small child's eyes.

As Tara was up in her room, Kennedy gave Shay a fake smile. "Ready for a fun day?" she asked the child, holding out a hand to the young girl.

Shay nodded, cautiously taking Kennedy's hand. They walked quietly up to Shay's room, and Kennedy smiled a forced smile at the child. "What do you want to do?" Kennedy asked sitting down close to the door.

"Um...can we color?" Shay asked, her voice quiet and shy.

"You just want to color?" Kennedy asked, her voice full of surprise. "Fine, I guess we can just sit around and color."

Shay frowned slightly at the annoyance in Kennedy's voice but grabbed the crayons and coloring books from her shelf and handing one to Kennedy. They colored for about fifteen minutes in silence before Kennedy set the crayons down and turned to Shay.

"Isn't there something else you want to do? This is so lame just sitting here doing nothing," Kennedy complained, frowning at the child.

"It is not," Shay defended, sitting up to look at Kennedy.

"Yes it is. All we're doing is lazing around coloring in stupid pictures. They're so many other interesting things we could be doing outside instead of sitting in here," Kennedy told her.

"Tara would enjoy it," Shay muttered, glaring at her mother's girlfriend.

"I'm not Tara. Tara is patient and doesn't want to anger your mother because Willow is helping her regain her memory," Kennedy said, looking down at the little girl. "Why else would she hang out with a spoiled brat?"

Walking by the hall, Willow was surprised by Kennedy's statement and even more shocked at her daughter's words that followed the comment.

"I hate you! I wish Tara was with Mommy instead!" Shay shouted, rushing out of the room and running into her mother.

"What happened?" Willow asked, kneeling down in front of her crying daughter and looking at Kennedy who stood in the doorway. "Shay? Baby, what happened?" she asked again, touching her daughter's chin and lifting her face to look into her eyes.

"I hate her," Shay muttered, trying to look away from her mother's eyes.

Willow frowned and looked at Kennedy. "What happened?" she asked Kennedy, knowing Shay wasn't going to answer.

"I don't know. We were coloring and I asked her if she wanted to do something else. She just started freaking out," Kennedy defended, not telling Willow everything.

"So you decided to call her a spoiled brat?" Willow said, her voice turning cold. "I don't care if she didn't like you suggesting something else or not, but you don't call my daughter spoiled or a brat," Willow snapped, glaring at her girlfriend.

"Willow, she was acting like one," Kennedy tried to explain.

"I don't care. You have no right to say something like that to my daughter. If you can't handle a little temper tantrum without calling her names, then get out of my house," Willow snapped.

"Willow?" Kennedy said, stepping towards Willow with her hands outstretched.

"Not now," Willow told her, lifting her crying daughter into her arms and carrying her into her room.

As Willow carried Shay away, Kennedy glared at their back before walking downstairs and slamming the door behind her as she went.

That night at dinner, Tara walked downstairs expecting to see Kennedy and was surprised to see the brunette was missing from the dinner table and was even more surprised by the silence filling the room as she walked in. "Hey," Tara said, shyly, afraid to add more tension to the room.

Willow looked up. "Hi," she muttered before looking back down at her dinner.

Tara frowned, unsure of what she did to cause Willow's anger at her.

"I'm sorry, Mommy," Shay whispered, glancing sideways at her mother.

"It's not your fault," Willow told her, not looking at anyone.

"Yes it is. You're mad at me, Mommy," Shay said, her voice breaking as she watched her mother.

Willow turned her head to look at her daughter. "I'm not mad at you, Baby. I'm mad at the situation. I'm mad that she said that to you, but I'm not mad at you. Okay?"

Shay frowned, but nodded at her mother's words and went into her mother's arms when Willow opened them to her daughter.

"Did I miss something?" Tara asked, sitting down across from Willow and beside Shay's seat.

"The bonding time with Shay and Kennedy ended in a disaster. Kennedy said a few things that upset Shay and infuriated me," Willow explained, looking at Tara. "I'm sorry that I got a little snippy with you just now. My temper is unstable," Willow told her, giving Tara an uneasy smile.

"It's alright. Is Shay alright?" Tara asked, nodding towards the child who was still holding tightly to her mother.

"I think she's just not use to seeing me mad. I usually try not to get angry in front of her," Willow said, kissing her daughter's head.

Tara nodded and watched as mother and daughter found comfort with one another.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you Gimpy72 and Matash21 for reading this over and giving your views on it. **


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